ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
