just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
