Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
