my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
