Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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