it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
