I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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