I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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