how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
