Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
