when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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