I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
