we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
