ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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