Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
