FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
