Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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