even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
