thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
