what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
