i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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