those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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