you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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