Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There was a lot of him and a little penis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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