is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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