where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
