yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just gift wrapped bread.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
