16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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