Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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