This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
