Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
