He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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