her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just found puke in my bra..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
