he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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