Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
