i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
