We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
