i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
