there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
