what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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