Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
