Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dignity is for republicans.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
