Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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