There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
