just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
