i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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