Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
