I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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