She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
