yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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