Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
